The "Hi Crystal! How are you doing today?" isn't really an opportunity to share every ache, pain, frustration, etc. And yet, that's all I seem to do. My poor sweet husband not only has been carrying the extra burden of having a sick, incapacitated wife, he also has to hear me talk about it all the time.
It's like I have to take all that negativity and push it out of me. If I were to stay mum and keep it inside it would become worse.
Instead, I throw it out for the world to see... obnoxious isn't it? I bug myself!! Now, I really don't think there is anything wrong with sharing your feelings, even being a "Debbie Downer" from time to time. Life is full of ups and downs and unless you are an extremely private person (and then, even if you are) people are going to be able to see some of that roller coaster ride. It's okay to talk about it.
Yes, I've been suffering physically, emotionally, mentally... Every time I accomplish mundane every day tasks I am so proud of myself because it's something!! It's not wasting my life away on the couch sleeping. It's like doing the dishes is my own personal Mount Everest. You want the world to know you reached the summit and made it back alive!!
But now, for me, it's time for an attitude change.
If I keep thinking about how much of a challenge every day is, that's all it's ever going to be... a challenge.
Life is full of challenges but the whole purpose of being here is to find JOY!
My JOY is my family. My husband, my children, my sisters and brother, my parents, my in-laws... But I also want to be happy!! I want to enjoy each day like the blessing that it is. I want to have fun new experiences and go to bed satisfied with the fun things I did with my kids.
Does the pain control me or do I control it?
I have been blessed with so much. Over the entire course of my life I have seen and been given miracle after miracle. Blessing after blessing. This is what I need to focus on. Remember this and forget the rest.
A few months ago my church (LDS) had our semi-annual General Conference where our Priesthood leaders give talks and sermons that is broadcast all over the world for the members of our church to hear.
I watched my Prophet stand and say the words that my Heavenly Father knew I needed to hear.
I don't know about you, but I can not read that without tears streaming down my cheeks. (You really should go read the entire talk.) They are words that I have needed to hear for a very long time. Words from a Heavenly Father, who loves me, given through his Prophet here on earth. That alone is reason to be Joyful.
It would be easy to become discouraged and cynical about the future—or even fearful of what might come—if we allowed ourselves to dwell only on that which is wrong in the world and in our lives. Today, however, I’d like us to turn our thoughts and our attitudes away from the troubles around us and to focus instead on our blessings as members of the Church. The Apostle Paul declared, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
None of us makes it through this life without problems and challenges—and sometimes tragedies and misfortunes. After all, in large part we are here to learn and grow from such events in our lives. We know that there are times when we will suffer, when we will grieve, and when we will be saddened. However, we are told, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.”How might we have joy in our lives, despite all that we may face? Again from the scriptures: “Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you.”
Will this be the last time that I complain or have a bad day? No. If only it were that easy. But I want you to know (and I need to remind myself) that I know I am not alone.
Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.