Sorry Mom

So a few of you who actually read my blog have asked me what my recent research project has been. I didn't mean to make it all mystical. I am feeling quite guilty because it's not exciting and you are going to be deeply disappointed.

Anyways, I was watching some documentaries on The History Channel and it got me interested in learning more about Jerusalem. I've always been interested in the history of the area and the fighting between Israel and Palestine. So I decided to read up on it a bit. Nothing serious, just some random inquiries on my phones web browser before I go to sleep.

It's been quite interested though, learning about the Dome of the Rock.

Yah, so I know this post is really lame. I wish I had something better to write. But I'm having some major block right now.

Maybe if Shane remembers to bring me a slurpee from his trip to the store it will spark some inspiration and I'll post something better.

And why the title, Sorry Mom?

She asked me when my next post would be because she missed me (isn't she awesome!) So I promised one tonight. I'm sorry it was a sucky one.



Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

An Explanation

The last few days I have been busy and haven't had a chance to write any posts. To be completely honest, I've been spending my free time doing some research on what I think is an interesting topic. (Maybe there will be more on this later. For now, it doesn't really matter.)

Before I took my little break I scheduled a few posts of some of my favorite Toad the Wet Sprocket songs. Hopefully this didn't annoy you too much. You either skipped past them (which is fine) or you read the lyrics maybe listened to the song or even downloaded a copy.

I wanted to share these songs because, well like I said, they are some of my favorites. But, they are also some of the songs I listen to when I am reflective and a few of them have even been instrumental in helping me through tough times.

Music is a HUGE part of my life. It has helped me work through thoughts and feeling. It has helped me through rough times and inspired me to make changes and be better at things. It has helped me grow closer to God and helped me put away unhealthy things. How else can I say that music is a huge part of my life?? It just IS!

I guess I'm sharing this right now because, well, sometimes I'm just random like that. But also because I tend to analyze things and self-therapize (is that a word?) myself. So as I think about that and then I end up listening to a song that helped me at one time or another...

Random, I know. Probably doesn't make sense. I'm sure I'll go back later and re-read this and say, "HUH? What was that suppose to mean?" I listen to music when I work and it seems to be easier to work than blog while listening. (I really get into it.)

Regardless of my reverie, I'm curious to know... what role does music play in your life? Is there a special song that just moves you or has been helpful at a certain point in your life? I would love to hear about it. Either comment or blog it. But if you blog it, leave me a comment and let me know so I can come check it out.

I hope I'm not the only one who is so moved by music.


Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Something's Always Wrong

Something's Always Wrong by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Another day I call and never speak
And you would say nothing's changed at all
And I can't feel much hope for anything
If I won't be there to catch you if you fall

Again
It seems we meet
In the spaces
In between
We always say
It won't be long
But something's always wrong

Another game of putting things aside
As if we'll come back to them some time
A brace of hope a pride of innocence
And you would say something has gone wrong

Again
It seems we meet
In the spaces
In between
We always say
It won't be long
But something's always wrong

[1]
"Again we fail to meet and mend
The spaces safe between intents
We say too much and long been gone,
Oh but something's always wrong."

[2]
"Again we fail to make amends
And wend our way between intents
And looking back, not moving on
Oh but something's always wrong."

[3]
"Again we fail to meet and mend
The spaces safe between intents
We say too much, too long been gone
Oh but something's always wrong.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Throw It All Away

Throw It All Way by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Take your cautionary tales
And take your incremental gain
And all the sycophantic games
And throw 'em all away
Burn your tv in your yard
And gather 'round it with your friends
And warm your hands upon the fire
And start again
Take the story you've been sold
The lies that justify the pain
The guilt that weighs upon your soul
And throw 'em all away
Tear up the calendar you bought
And throw the pieces to the sky
Confetti falling down like rain
Like a parade to usher in your life
Take the dreams that should've died
The ones that kept you lying awake
When you should've been all right
And throw 'em all away
With the time i waste on the life i never had
I could've turned myself into a better man
There is nothing you can buy
And there is nothing you can save
To fill the hole inside your heart
So throw it all away
Help me to empty this house
The wool i've gathered all these days
And thought i couldn't do without
And throw it all away

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Walk On The Ocean

Walk On The Ocean by Toad the Wet Sprocket

We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
Where are we going, so far away
And somebody told me that this is the place
Where everything's better, everything's safe

Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone

And half and hour later we packed up our things
We said we'd send letters and all those little things
And they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same
It seemed they'd already forgotten we'd came

Now we're back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
And people don't know you
And trust is a joke
We don't even have pictures
Just memories to hold
That grow sweeter each season
As we slowly grow old

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Checkin the Attitude

I have major mommy guilt.

I think being a good mom is about effort, desire, and attitude. You have those and the skills will come.

Unfortunately, I've been awful on the attitude part these past few days.

Lilly learned to use the potty. And while this is a good thing it has also been my downfall. See, she can go pee pee, but #2 has proven a bit difficult.

Needless to say, I've delt with a lot of poop. And it hasn't been fun. I've been grouchy and irritated and haven't been a good mom. When I should be understanding and forgiving I instead have gotten mad and snotty.

Has my precious little girl been mad or snotty in return? Not even close. Instead she curls up next to me and tells me she loves me and that I'm her favorite. Thus making me feel even more like a complete jerk.

There really isn't anymore to say about it other than I suck and have some major repenting and making up to do. At least she is forgiving and I know she still loves me.


Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

All I Want

All I Want by Toad The Wet Sprocket

Nothing's so loud
As hearing when we lie
The truth is not kind
And you've said neither am I
But the air outside so soft is saying everything
Everything

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say...

Nothing's so cold
As closing the heart when all we need
Is to free the soul
But we wouldn't be that brave I know
And the air outside so soft, confessing everything
Everything

And it won't matter now
Whatever happens to me
Though the air speaks of all we'll never be
It won't trouble me

And it feels so close
Let it take me in
Let it hold me so
I can feel it say...

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Crazy Life

Crazy Life by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Anyway now, it don't seem right
He is in there and you're on the outside
Over pine ridge to wounded knee
There's blood on the ground as far as you see
Crazy life
In the air i'm sensing a change of weather
In the end a change is due
Does anyone remember here
Did you all think he'd just disappear
Crazy life
What've you done with Peltier
Who did you think you'd taken away
Crazy life
In the air i'm sensing a change of the weather
In the end the path is clear
Burying won't stop it breathing forever
Underground it takes to root
Anyway now, it don't seem right
He is in there and you're on the outside
What've you done with Peltier
Who did you think you'd taken away
Crazy life
It's not over...

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Damn Would Break

Damn Would Break by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Is it this place that makes me fall from you
Forget the words that once rang so true
Did we expect that life was ever fair, my god . . .
I sowed a field of rose and reaped a whipping rod
And everything i've held too tight inside
Could make a part of me die
And if my lips could only speak the name
The dam would break
What is this ice that gathers 'round my heart
To stop the flood of warmth before it even starts
It would make me blind to what i thought would always be
The only constant in the world for me
And every hour of every day
I need to fight from pulling away
And if my mind could only loose the chain
The dam would break
For all the things i hid away
And all the words i could not say
The dam would break

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Thursday Thirteen

Here are thirteen things I want to do before I die. (They aren't in any order and don't include everything... it's just random)

1. View a total solar eclipse from the path of totality.
2. Wear a size 8 again.
3. See my children get married.
4. Meet my grandchildren.
5. Take a trip to NYC.
6. Write a book.
7. Help someone find peace.
8. Save a life.
9. See another comet in the sky.
10. Figure out a health mystery.
11. Make a difference.
12. Die before any of my children.
13. And before my husband.
    

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.