Could Innocence Mean Innocent?

I vividly remember the evening that my dad came home with an expected gift.

I was about 2 or 3 (I don't remember if my brother had been born yet and I am two years older than he is). I was upstairs playing and when my dad came home from work, he insisted I come down stairs. I didn't want to but he kept calling me. When I came down he handed me a brown paper bag. It was large and flat and when I pulled out what was inside I jump and yelled with excitement.

Inside the paper bag was the new Michael Jackson record (yes, vinyl), Thriller.

I LOVED Michael Jackson!! I watched the music video and making of ALL the time. I even remember playing at the apartment complex play ground, sitting under the slide in the shade, playing in the sand, and informing my friend that "when I grow up, I'm going to marry Michael Jackson!".

I remember kneeling in front of the T.V. and watching the Motown 25 Special. Seeing MJ in his black sequin jacket and his silver glove. I swooned as he Moon-Walked across the stage.

He was beyond talented. His music and performing genius have never been matched. Even those who do not "like" his style of music can not deny that he was and always will be the King of Pop.

I have always been saddened that his outrageous behavior in later years, and the disgusting accusations (true or untrue) over-shadowed the amazing legacy that his hard work and talent created.

Now that he is gone, and the media frenzy calmed, what will he be remembered for? Changing the history of music forever or Wacko Jacko jokes about the K-mart specials?

Honestly, I think its a tragedy. While I know many will not agree with me, it might even upset them, I don't believe MJ was guilty of the crimes he was accused of. Yes, he was a troubled man. Yes, he said and did a lot of strange and questionable things. But I believe the only thing he was guilty of was being naive, making poor decisions, and maybe even being emotionally stunted.

This was a man who had been performing since he was 5 years old!! His mother is devoutly religious (she is a Jehova's Witness) and his father, physically and emotionally abusive. As MJ repeatedly said many times, he never had a childhood. His entire life was spent performing. He could not go anywhere or do anything without being swarmed and screamed at. Chased and mauled.

Add this to a low self-esteem and struggling with self-image, can we really judge how or why? Can we say we would have been any different?

I watched a special on MJ's life recently. Gladys Knight was being interviewed and she made, what I believe, was a very good point. She said (paraphrasing here) that, every time he went somewhere or did something he was wasn't allowed to be his own person. He was "our" MJ. Every time people yelled and screamed and swarmed him they stole bits and pieces of him. One piece at a time.

He experienced a fame no one ever has. When you know nothing different what does it do to you mentally? Emotionally?

It's no question he lived in pain. The kind medicine can numb (as reports now claim he tried very hard to do) and the kind that medicine can't touch (as is evident by his drastically changing appearance).

It's my belief that it was a child-like innocence and a naivity in his actions and chosen words that would cause him to become such a target.

He had wealth beyond the imagination and yet he was never too good for a child. I think greed became a driving force for some people who selfishly sought out a way to manipulate and lie themselves into his hard earned riches.

He was guilty in public opinion even when a jury found him innocent. Was it because we didn't understand? How could we understand? No one has ever experienced the same extremes that filled his life.

As I said before, I know many won't agree. Especially when it comes to the topic of a child's innocence. I want to clarify that I don't feel this way just because of his talent. Or because I love his music and have fond childhood memories of all things MJ. I have always been one to feel that you should error on the side of caution. A child's innocence is worth far more than music genius and a few million albums could ever be.

But every time I listened to MJ talk or give an interview it was a child-like innocence that I heard behind his words. It was misplaced trust in people and interpretations coupled with bad decisions, a dysfunctional childhood, and a fame unfathomable to even the very famous.

I normally don't write posts about nothing but my opinion. Mainly because, while I feel strongly about respecting everyone's God given right to their own thoughts, opinions, and choices, I don't like to have my God given right of the same questioned or taken away. (Pretty pig-headed, I know.) But as I become less medicated and more my opinionated self, I find it harder and harder to not use my blog for sharing "MY" thoughts. However unpopular they may be.

And now, I find myself wanting to defend a man I never knew. Do I KNOW he was innocent? No. Only God and a very few people on this earth know the truth. But I suspect that it was his innocence that convinced everyone of his guilt.




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