Yes, I'm stalling.
I have a brain lesion.
This could mean nothing significant.
This could mean everything significant.
Since I'm writing this on my phone, I can't add any links. But if you Google "Brain Lesion" you would find out that it means an area of the brain that appears abnormal. It can be caused by infection, disease, stroke, etc.
Right now the cause of my lesion (that sounds oddly possessive... Maybe I should name it) is unknown. So they are setting up two additional appointments for me.
The first is a Cardiology appointment. This is because the lesion could be the result of a stroke (or in my case a mini stroke) which is ultimately caused by a hole in the heart. I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that seeing as how my grandma had a hole in her heart, Noah had heart issues, and obviously its in the genes because Beckham has heart issues too, then this probably isn't stretching things too far. And because a Cardiologist is the ONLY specialist I think I haven't seen then it seems this might be even more likely.
The next appointment is for a Spinal Tap. This would be to look for Multiple Sclerosis. Ugh. The good news on this one is that I have one lesion. MS usually presents with many. However, I do have symptoms and one lesion is one more than you want. This test can come back positive, negative, and inconclusive (meaning it has some positives but isn't screaming positive in which case they will send me to the MS center for more testing).
So that's it. Well, I guess there is one other thing.
Before I got the news today (and even after) I had decided to nix all the meds I have been put on. I figure that I'll never figure out what's wrong if I'm all these medications that have side-effects. In all complete honesty, 100% of my symptoms could be side-effects of all the rotten medication I've been put on. The real yucky thing though is that coming off it is going to be hard. And by hard I mean kill-me-now-awful! It's not the kind of stuff you just stop taking. It has to be tapered down and withdrawal is worse than rotten. If I thought things had been rough before I have a feeling the next two months are gonna be a ride.
Alright. I'm done. If you hate reading these "sickly" posts even half as much as I hate writing them then I'm going to have to start bribing you to read my blog.
Thank you for supporting me though. It means more than you know. The love, support, prayers, and outreach of all of you has given me such comfort and strength. I am very grateful and humbled.

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