Today did not go well.
This Doctor was horrible. He didn't do any sort of physical exam. He didn't order any labs or tests.
He told me I was looking for the boogy man in my closet. Nothing is there but I keep looking.
One of my symptoms is unexplained lactation. He said I was like the "wet nurses in the bible". There is no explanation for my lactation. I should just ignore it and not do anything to make it worse.
I sat in front of this man doing everything in my power not to cry and practically begged him to help me figure out what is going on. Whatever it is... please help me. And he said he had no idea what was wrong. Then he left to speak with his assistant and never came back. He sent her in to dismiss me. I cried the entire way home.
The only other time a Doctor has made me feel so worthless was the last time I went to this clinic and saw another Doctor there when I first started getting sick. That's the reason I dreaded going to this place again. I hoped it would be different but I think deep down I knew better. I think that's why I reached out for your prayers. Because I knew I would need the strength to keep going after being turned away again.
But I do have some good news.
I have a dear friend whose son is sick (no this isn't the good news, this is awful news). They have been seeing a Doctor that they recommend highly. I thought that I would have to pay out of pocket to see her since she works at a hospital that normally isn't covered under my insurance and I have no out of network benefits. But I found out tonight that she IS covered. I am going to call tomorrow to make an appointment. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. Instead of putting all my eggs in one basket and waiting for one appointment with one Doctor, I should be making appointments with every Doctor I can find so I can wait for the appointments at the same time.
Regardless of the disappointment I felt today after this humiliating excuse for a Doctor appointment, I feel at peace again. I'm not giving up. I will figure this out so I can enjoy life to its fullest and be the wife and mother I want to be. I know that I feel this peace because of your prayers and good thoughts. So Thank You a millions times over!
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