Having My Cake And Eating It To

Everyone is talking about how they don't want to make resolutions for 2009 so they don't have to end up failing. Well, not me. This year is all about resolutions.

You see, 2007 was a rough rough year. We moved, Noah was born with a Congenital Heart Defect, Lilly, Noah and I spent almost 6 months at the Ronald McDonald House in Denver so Noah could get a Heart Transplant, then we came home and Noah had surgery and was sick a lot. We had more blessings and miracles than I could possibly write but it was still hard.

I had hoped with the changing into 2008 that things would get easier. I was certain times were changing... But then Noah got RSV and ended up in the hospital (after a week of Lilly having it and being super sick at home) then there was trip after trip after trip to the ER and the hospital. Then our vacation was canceled because Shane got super sick with a bowel obstruction and had to have emergency surgery. Then on our rescheduled vacation Noah got super sick, was transported from Baker to Barstow, CA by Ambulance, our car was hit by a non-insured illegal immigrant. Then, the car broke down in the middle of the night.

Things didn't seem to get much easier. That's for sure.

But I realized something while we were on vacation. I kept wondering why all these things were happening. I wasn't complaining. I just didn't understand. Was there a lesson that I needed that I just wasn't getting? Then my Dad (who always gives me just the right advice at the right moment) gave me something to think about. He said, "Sometimes we are given challenges not because we need to learn a lesson, but just to simply see how we are going to react and handle things."

He was right.

Since that moment, my outlook has changed a bit. I'm no longer making a list. I couldn't tell you what if any "bad things" have happened since our car broke down on vacation. I stopped keeping track. I started just living my life.

Now I can say 2008 has been a good year. We had a lot of fun. We went on a wonderful vacation, we have spent lots of quality time together as a family (and just Shane and I), Noah started walking and made HUGE improvements in all his gross and fine motor skills, Lilly has FINALLY learned to use the potty (on the last day of the year, go figure), I've made some new and wonderful friends, and we are ending the year HEALTHY!!

It will be remembered as a good and blessed year.

Now, for 2009.
There are some things I want to change and I don't mind calling them resolutions. The start of a new year is a good time to reevaluate your goals and hopes and desires. So this is what I have done. Here are a few things I am putting as my New Year Resolutions:

• I want to be healthier. There is so much more to this than just losing weight. I haven't been the healthiest person the last year. After the extreme stress of 2007 I had some emotional issues that needed to be dealt with this past year. Depression and Anxiety are major demons that can affect your life. I'm making progress with this now and I hope to have that progress spill over into my physical health as well. Total mind and body well-being. That's my goal.
• I want a cleaner more organized home. I KNOW I have the skills and ability to achieve this. I don't need perfection, I just need effort. I think I can do this now.
• I want to reach out to more family's with health issues and Heart Babies to lend support and an understanding ear.
• I want to raise awareness for Organ Donation.
• I want to be as AMAZING a friend to my friends as they have been to me.
• I want to "show" Shane how much I love him more often. I want to show him how glad I am that he is home by stopping what I am doing and run to him to welcome him home at night. I want to make him special dinners so he doesn't have to slap something together after working all day.
• I want to keep playing with my kids all day so they know they are the most important thing in my life.
• I want to take more Continuing Ed classes so I can earn the Certificate I have started working towards.
• I want to read my scriptures more.

There are so many more things I want to do and work on this year. But this is a good list. And as the year changes, it will change. I'm easy like that.

I guess the big picture is that I just learn to take what comes and be happy with what I get.

The rest is just frosting on my cake.



Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

A Potty Princess

Lilly has finally decided she wants to use the potty!! This is GREAT news considering she is 3 1/5. Yesterday afternoon I decided to give it a shot again and ask her if she wanted to wear big girl underwear... AND SHE DID!!

She went half the day yesterday and all day today wearing big girl undies. She had a few accidents at first but then we decided to try setting the timer. And every time the timer went BEEP BEEP BEEP it was Potty time. She loved this.

By this afternoon she was even coming to tell me she needed to go pee pee before the timer went off.

My only concern now, is she won't go number 2 yet. Instead, she holds it. And she is already so prone to being constipated. But hey, we'll work through it. I just went almost 48 hrs without using a DIAPER for my 3 year old!

Tonight, we talked about not going potty in the bed and how if she needs to go to get up and go to the potty. She wore her big girl undies to bed and not a diaper (but I secretly put the overnighter shorts on over the undies as not to wet her sheets... all in good time.) So we'll see in the morning how that goes.

One funny conversation we had today happened while we were racing cars and I smelled something not so pleasant.

Mommy: Lilly? Did you go poo poo in your big girl undies?

Lilly: No Mommy! I didn't! I didn't go poo.

Mommy: Noah? Did YOU go poo poo again?

Lilly: No, Mommy. No poo poo. I just had some tooties.

And she was right. She was still clean and dry and I was one happy momma!


Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Christmas and Christmas Vacation Pictures

Here are our pictures from Christmas 2008 and the few days since.

They did this pose all on their own.

She is beautiful but you can see in her eyes that she doesn't feel good.

He looks so proper.

Christmas morning before we went downstairs to see the spoils.

Noah loved the wagon from Santa.

The kitchen was a hit too.

Noah LOVES his Signing Time CD's.

Still loving Signing Time.

He's STILL checking out the Signing Time CD's. He kept giving Rachel kisses all morning.

Daddy with his Tinker Bell Lilly.

Just Relaxing at my Parents house Christmas Afternoon.

A VERY special Tea Set from Nanny and Poppy.

My sister Maegan.

My Mom.

My Dad.

My hubby and sister Jen.

My Sister Sheena.

Sheena and her boyfriend Jeremy.

She fell asleep at the table.

Because she wouldn't eat her dinner.

A Sun Set as seen from out our front window.

Lilly in her Princess Dress.

Taking a bow.

I hope you all had a VERY MERRY CHRISTmas! Our's was wonderful!

And to all my friends and family, THANK YOU for the sweet Happy Birthday wishes you sent my way.


Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Want To See Me Cry?

See me after watching The Notebook and you won't be disappointed.

I sob every time. And when I say sob I am not exaggerating. I cry so hard that I can't talk. And if I try to talk about it even an hour late I break into sobs again. Its embarrassing but at the same time, I am not ashamed.

I can't help but feel Ally and Noahs pain at forgetting the past, remembering the past, longing for each other, and then the magic of love taking them away together. It's the most tragic love story with the most perfect ending... Who wouldn't cry?

It's my favorite movie of all time. Yet, I never watch it. Because it will make me a big slobbery boob for who knows how long. But yesterday and tonight it's been on TV so I couldn't help myself. I watch, I sobbed, I gave myself the worst migraine headache ever. But it's still my favorite



Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

It's almost Christmas. As I write this, I am counting down the minutes. 37 to go.

The cookies and clusters are made and waiting for Santa. All the presents are wrapped and under the tree. Stockings are stuffed. I'm freshly showered. All I am waiting for is Shane to finish a last minute "assembly" project and then it's off to bed.

Tonight we all got to open one present. The Christmas Eve Jammies. Then we tracked Santa over the internet. We even got to play around at the North Pole a bit and see what the elves are up to.

Bed time wasn't a problem as Lilly is still sick and very forcefully exclaimed she was tired and needed to go in her bed. And Noah didn't nap (and was exceptionally grouchy today) so he was right off to bed too.

Being a mom is awesome. Being a mom at Christmas time is absolute heaven!! At dinner, Shane and Lilly were talking about Santa coming and opening presents tomorrow and Lilly was all giggly and said "Oh, I am so excited!" It was the cutest thing. I can not wait to see their faces when they see that Santa came.

I've also already received several Happy Birthday wishes from some friends. Which is the sweetest thing. Since I don't celebrate my birthday ON my birthday those special birthday wishes from people in the middle of celebrating their own holiday are extra special to me.

The year I turned 16 we had a family Christmas party with my extended family as we did every year. But this year, for the dessert my mom had gotten a birthday cake. After dinner my entire family sang Happy Birthday to me for my REAL birthday for the first time in my life. Yes, I cried. I will never forget it. I know it sounds silly now. But like I said, Christmas is everyone's time. So to remember me in the midst of their celebration is beyond touching.

I am so blessed. I'm excited to be with my husband and children tomorrow with no work distractions. I'm excited to see my babies eyes light up when they see their gifts. I'm excited for them to learn about giving gifts to others. I'm excited to go visit my family and celebrate with them and see what my sisters got from Santa.

I'm sad Lilly is still sick. Every year until I was at least 14, I was sick on Christmas. Super sick not just a cold sick. I remember one year in particular. I was laying on the couch in the dark with only the red lights from the Christmas tree. Christmas songs were playing quietly. I laid on the couch trying not to swallow my own spit because it burned my raw throat. I was sweaty with fever and too weak to move. The door bell rang and it was our Home Teacher who had come to help my dad give me a blessing. Because of the Priesthood and the Gift to be Healed, come Christmas morning, I was better. I hope Lilly is better tomorrow too.

I'm sad because my whole family isn't here this year. My brother and his family live out of state as do Shane's entire family. Christmas just isn't the same without them here. There is definitely a void. I hope they all have a very Merry Christmas in their homes this year though.

And I hope all of YOU have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS this year as well. Times are tough out in the world right now. But Christmas is about families and joy and love and all of those things are free.

God Bless,


Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.